You were quite young when you discovered you were going to have twins, 17 years old. Were you afraid?
I was excited; I was so young and idealistic I just thought everything would be okay…until I discovered we were having twins! And then I was so scared. I thought I could handle one, but two...But now I look back with no regrets because I am better for having them; but I missed a lot of growing-up time.
In this day and age when women can easily decide to terminate a pregnancy, what made you decide that this was not the right path for you?
I am pro-choice. Women can make any decision they want for their own bodies. But I just knew in my heart it would not be the right decision for me.
Do you feel you got the support you needed as a young pregnant woman? And if so, where did that support mostly come from?
My support came from my parents and two younger sisters; also my friends. I felt and still feel like it took all of us to do this. They are amazing kids and I feel they got a little of that from each of us.
You were still in school when you discovered you were pregnant. What was the plan of action by school districts at that time in regard to dealing with school-girl pregnancy?
When I told my counselor, she was great; she helped me decide what needed to be done for me to stay in school. I eventually went to the Academy of Creative Education because I had all-day sickness with the twins…I never felt like they did not want me there or that I needed to hide...I finished school and went on to college.
What sources of government support were available to you as a young mother? How did these sources of governmental support provide positive help to you?
Medicaid, food stamps, financial aid; It takes a lot to ask for help, but it does help when you need it.
What obstacles did you come across as a young woman who had children?
It takes a lot longer to get places. I mean when I moved out [of my parents’ house], I did not have three roommates to split bills with. I always have mouths to feed and clothes to buy.
How did the obstacles make you feel?
My kids have made me such a better, stronger person. I would not trade the experience for anything else in the world. But I would not wish it on them either. I want them to be able to go off to college and worry only about themselves (if only for a little bit).
Did you come across prejudices, and from whom? How did these make you feel?
[There is a] stigma [to] having kids young. And everyone has an opinion of a teenage mom. I never wanted to live off the system, and I hate asking for help. It made me more determined to make it better for us.
Help the readers to understand the difficulties that a young single mother has in this society.
As a mother who was so young, the difficulties are not being able to give your kids enough. You are struggling so much to find who you are, you wonder if they are not missing out on too much. Luckily, I always wanted more for them than for myself.
You have always been a positive person. How do you feel that has helped you during the formative years of raising your children?
It has made them positive; they know they can do anything.
Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently?
No, the idea of not having done all of this holds no appeal. I am better because of them.
Now older, you decided to have a planned pregnancy and now have a young son. How were the two experiences of motherhood and pregnancy different?
When I was younger, I felt I had to prove that my kids were going to be fine. And as an older parent, I do not feel like I have to answer to everyone about the decisions I make for my children.
Do you feel that you gained perspectives from being a young mother that older mothers may not have?
I feel like the twins and I grew up a lot together. But no, I think parents who pay attention to their kids at any age have the same perspectives — even if we are always one step behind the kids.
What do you hope for in the futures of your twins and son?
I wish for them college, love, and families of their own. I just want them to be happy.
With the perspectives that have come from your own experience, do you have any advice you might now give to a young mother?
What I think now and when I look back to what I thought then are so different. I was so idealistic. I thought life just worked out, and mothers and fathers went through hard times but always took care of their kids. The adult I am now realizes life is not always like that. Luckily, I love my kids enough to do it all the time and never cop out; but a lot of young people do not want to give up their lives to raise their children. So to young people I would say wait…wait and grow up so you can let your kids be kids. And if you are a young parent already, it is so worth it to do your best. They give so much more back. Hopefully, my kids know how worth it it was for me.