Last night you were here and I whispered to you my thoughts...do you remember? I was worried...I didn't sleep well and had bad dreams...the other night, troubled dreams and troubled sleep...there were many young men and there were young, drugged women and one young man cut me across the palm of my hand with a jagged rock and you were there but it was part of what you had to be...tough and part of the gang…and I remember trying to hide, to escape, but I was drugged and groggy and it was a game for them, and you were not there for me but for them...
**************************
BANG!
Shy was on top. Young Lova’ had his hands on her hips. He wanted her to tell him a fantasy. “Tell me mama, tell me your fantasy,” he said while she sucked at his neck. She immediately felt fear. She was uncomfortable. What was she supposed to say? She wasn’t as young and bold as she once used to be. She leaned her lips to his ear but could only say a few of the more typical words of seduction. Soon she realized that what he really wanted was to tell her his fantasy. And he started telling her something she never wanted to hear from a man she thought she felt love for. As he spoke, her heart sank as she began to realize that it wasn’t a fantasy at all. It was real. It had happened. And he was telling her as though she wanted to hear it!
“One time,” Young Lova’ began, as he moved inside of her, “my friend and I fucked this girl together.” Shy felt her insides freeze. But instead of stopping, she pretended it didn’t bother her. “Yeah?” she said, trying to sound seductive.
Why was she doing this? What was wrong with her? Where had her strength gone? Why didn’t she get off him and tell him to get the hell away from her?
“Yeah,” he said. “We were all friends. She was our friend and she let us fuck her.” Shy could tell that he was getting off to the memory.
“First my friend fucked her and I watched. But then he wanted me to fuck her because my dick was bigger. So I fucked her."
“You fucked her?” she asked in a come-on-me voice she thought he would like, listening to herself as though it was someone else speaking.
“Yeah, I fucked her,” he said, pushing out “fuck” at the same time he shoved himself further into her.
Shy couldn’t tell who she was anymore. She didn’t know who she was. She was no one. She felt she was no one. She felt strange. She felt off, an object, invisible.
“I fucked her good,” Young Lova’ continued.
“Yeah, daddy, you fucked her good?” repeated Shy.
Who the hell was she? Why was she saying this? She had never used these words before. She had never called someone “daddy.” She felt trapped. She felt powerless. She felt invisible. She could have been any girl.
“Yeah I did. Then I took my dick out and I put it in her ass. She wanted me to put it in her ass. I put my dick in her ass and I fucked her and she liked it. I fucked her hard in the ass and she liked it.”
Shy felt gone. She could see Young Lova’ and his friend in her mind, in shadow she could see them fucking this girl. They were in a warehouse, on a dirty mattress, on concrete. There was yellow light illuminating them.
Shy knew the girl. She knew the girl being fucked. She knew her because the girlwas her. The young girl was letting these young men fuck her just like Shy was letting Young Lova’ fuck her. Was the girl letting them use her because she wanted them to like her? Shy wanted Young Lova’ to like her because he had shown her a small bit of attention. Or was the girl being initiated? Shy had a horrible, sinking feeling that this girl had been gang banged. She wondered where the girl was now. How did this girl feel? How did she feel about being banged by two men at the same time?
Young Lova’ continued. Shy’s soul had fallen silent by this time but Young Lova’ didn’t seem to know.
“I fucked her in the ass and she got shit all over me, and I liked it.”
Then Young Lova’ rolled Shy over and started pounding into her the way he liked to do. She wrapped her arms around his muscled shoulders, holding tight, waiting for the storm of aggression to stop. She put her lips to his neck and sucked him the way he liked. And when he asked her if he could fuck her in the ass, she let him.