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January 2008

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ArchiveTable of Contents

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10 Neither Here Nor There

11 Social Injustice

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Book Ten: Captain Julia

 

82. When the phone. . . .

 

            When the phone rang Sunday morning, I was sure it would be Julia telling me the rehearsal we’d planned was canceled. Instead it was a woman’s voice that I did not at first recognize. “Hey, big guy,” it purred, “how about a date?”

            “Toni,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “Toni McFerrin.”

            She laughed. “Did I wake you up?”

            “Actually, I’ve been awake since four-thirty reading John Milton,” I said. “But I gave it up and laid down for a nap after breakfast.”

            “It’s a likely story,” she said. “Can you come for dinner this evening? I’ve got a present for you.”

            “Sure,” I said. “What time?”

            “Come at five-thirty,” she said. “The kids like to eat early.”

            “I’ll be there,” I said. “If I don’t make it on the dot, save a place for me. I’ve got a rehearsal this afternoon. They’re trying to make a rhythm-and-blues drummer out of me.”

            “That should suit you,” she said. “We’ll see you, then?”

            “You betcha.” I smiled as I hung up the phone, thinking that my cousin Dale had done well for himself. Of course, Toni wasn’t as knockout beautiful as Selva.

            After I made coffee and cleaned up the breakfast dishes, it was almost time for me to head downtown. I went into the bedroom and lifted Julia’s necklace from its box, leaving the shrapnel piece to lie in its cotton. I slipped it over my head—I was wearing a fatigue-green T-shirt—and glanced in the mirror. I looked hairy, skinny, and weird. I got out a brush to try to organize my hirsutity, but I mostly succeeded in fluffing myself like an angry cat. Anyway I looked good enough for a Sunday afternoon at the Frog.

            Bars in Lincoln were closed on Sunday, a vestige of a time when Methodists laid down the law. There was no traffic downtown and no reason to pause at the crosswalks. I arrived at the Green Frog on foot a little before one; of course the place was locked and dark, and I had to wait fifteen minutes in the cold for Julia to make it around the corner and down P Street, a distance of a block and a quarter from Weld’s. “Sorry,” she said when she finally showed up. “Domestic hassles.”

            “That’s all right,” I said. “I love to watch the shadows of parking meters drift across the sidewalk.”

            Julia held the door for me and turned on the lights once we were inside. “Don’t give me a lot of crap,” she said. “I apologized, OK?”

            “Ugh,” I said. “This place stinks. Did you have a good crowd last night?”

            “We had a little over a hundred,” she said, “according to the cashbox, anyway.”

            “That’s pretty impressive,” I said.

            “It’s not enough, Jonas,” she said. “I need more money.”

            She went toward the back of the building and threw a circuit breaker, and lights went on over the stage. I looked around the place, wrinkling my nose against the strong bar smell. Chairs were upended on the tables; dirt and trash and cigarette butts had been swept into a windrow in the middle of the dance floor. The stage was small and filthy, with a plywood deck; two pair of metal folding chairs leaning against the back wall and the three mike stands were the only accommodations. The speakers were stacked offstage at the edge of the floor. In contrast to the general colorlessness of matte black and chrome silver and dirt, a candy-apple metal-flake drum set gleamed ruddily in the shadow behind the spotlights.

            From somewhere in the back I heard a toilet flush and a door opening. “Where’d you get the drums?” I called out.

            Julia emerged from a blacked-out hallway. “You remember the pawnshop guy?” I nodded. “Guess who owns every building on this side of the street.”

            “That old Irishman? You’re kidding.”

            “Nope. Every one except the Sam Lawrence Hotel. They’re all falling down, too.”

            “So he loaned you these? Did you move them in last night, then?”

            “Yesterday evening. We put a dropcloth over them so the audience wouldn’t expect drums.”

            As I stepped up on stage, I saw that every drum had a dangling price tag, as did the stool and high-hat. “We had to put a deposit,” Julia explained. “Don’t knock any holes in the drumheads, please.”

            “Not to worry,” I said. “I’m a feeble fucker.” A pair of sticks lay across the stool; I picked them up and sat down.

            “Don’t look so glum,” Julia said. “You’ll be fine.”

            “Will I?”

            “The audience is campus people, mostly,” Julia said. “Grad students. It’s not like the Three-Legged Dog.”

            “Harmless intellectuals, in other words. Like us.” I balanced the sticks and did a soft roll. “What’s the matter with Greg?” I asked.

            “For what we make, he couldn’t afford to drive down here,” Julia said. “Besides, he works most weekends. We were lucky to get him that night in Carter Lake.”

            I practiced a few licks while Julia got on the pay phone and called the Co-Op. She came back to the stage biting her thumb. “Robert is sick,” she reported. “Mark is on his way.”

            “Robert had too much to drink,” I speculated.

            “Probably not,” Julia said. “Usually it doesn’t bother him.”

            “Can you turn up the heat?” I asked. “I could play better if I could take my jacket off.”

            “I don’t know how,” she said. “I think we have to suffer.”

            McKinley arrived bearing his electric bass, and the three of us managed a desultory practice. They walked me through their repertory of songs; I tried to keep a steady tempo and listen to the material. I played as woodenly as I had danced with Grace, eliciting winces from McKinley and frowns from Julia. The sticks grew wet and heavy in my hands, and my shoulder and back began to ache; my mouth got dry as if I’d been singing with them. I played badly for an hour and a half and called for a break.

            “Jonas,” Julia said impatiently, “we have to get through this stuff.”

            “Let’s take five,” McKinley said to her. “This is no picnic if you’re not used to it.”

            “Who said it was easy?” Julia snapped. “Do you think it’s easy for me? My throat hurts, if you want to know the truth.”

            “More reason to take a rest,” McKinley said.

            “Fine,” Julia said, and headed for the bathroom.

            I put the sticks down gratefully and stood up to ease my back. “What’s with Shemansky?” I asked. “Is he really sick?”

            “Yeah,” McKinley said. “Looks like the flu. There are others in our building who have it.”

            “I got it last fall,” I said. “Maybe I won’t catch it this time around.”

            “I hope it misses me,” McKinley said. “Flu, that’s all I need right now. That seminar with Lewis Rey is stranger than Strange.”

            Julia came back in a better frame of mind. “Hurray!” she announced. “The menses have returned.”

            “You were sweating it?” I asked.

            “I was late,” she said. “It’s a new experience for me.”

            “What the world needs,” I said. “More Jerome Welds.”

            “It’s none of your business, Jonas,” Julia said. “You don’t have to like him.”

            “You’re right,” I said, “I don’t. Are you on The Pill?”

            “We’re using something,” Julia replied. “Like I said, it’s none of your business.”

            The second session went better. I warmed up and took off my flight jacket, and even had a little fun with a couple of the numbers. The next time someone called a halt it was McKinley. “The skin’s peeling off my fingers,” he said. “I need a couple of days to grow it back.”

            “What do you think, Jonas?” Julia asked. “Anyone care for a cough drop?”

            “Hell, I can do this,” I said. “The way things are looking at the English Department, I’d better develop some alternative career choices.”

            “Does that mean you’ll pay for these drums?”

            “Oof,” I said. “Why didn’t I see that coming? Well, how much is it?”

            “Three hundred bucks.”

            “Oof,” I said again. I calculated the arrival of my next VA check. “Sure, I can come up with it.”

            “That’s my boy,” Julia said. “Old Moneybags. Now, all we have to do is get you an outfit.”

            “Jesus Christ!” I said, and repeated myself on the drums: BOM-ba-da BOM. Mckinley laughed.

            “Wow! Do that again,” Julia said. POW! Ba-dat ba-DUM, I echoed. She raised her thick eyebrows and grinned. “Maybe we can use it in the act.”




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