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January 2008

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ArchiveTable of Contents

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10 Neither Here Nor There

11 Social Injustice

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18 Abuse

19 Abuse Part II

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Book Eleven: Lions and Lambs

 

 

87. The judge. . . .

 

            The judge drummed with his gavel on the pad provided: Bang. Bang. Bang. The court settled down into some semblance of order, with the tall white-haired bailiff, flanked by two policemen, frowning angrily at the indecorous crowd. I sat apart from the rest of the defendants, of whom Mattie Halliday was the only one to look my way. I had recently been drummed out of the anti-war movement at a meeting especially set up for the purpose, to which I was invited by none other than Selva Andersen. Toni McFerrin’s photograph of Adrian and Selva had infuriated Adrian, who demanded to know the source of the picture. Because I wouldn’t tell, I was suspected of collaborating with the cops; I was informed I would be ejected from planning meetings (I had never yet attended a planning meeting) and that my participation in demonstrations would not be welcome, though as advocates of free speech (free dope, free tuition, free lunch, free birth control clinics) they’d do nothing to prevent it. Which was fine with me; the month of March had been too cold for marches anyway.

            I will say this for Selva, that she seemed genuinely embarrassed at having led me into the hands of their kangaroo court. She continued to sit beside me in Larry Whiffe’s class, though our small talk grew even smaller after the incident. I hadn’t yet forgiven her, but she was still in my eyes the prettiest woman who walked the earth, and if she seemed to want to continue to be friends with me, I would have required a brain transplant to refuse her. As for the others (except for Mattie, also an outsider, and for L. D. Langdon, who didn’t give a damn what anyone thought), they took visible satisfaction in having uncovered a traitor. Gentle people of the most liberal and democratic principles would cross the street to avoid me. I’d never in my adult life experienced anything like it.

            So this was my second hearing, and by far the easiest. All I did when it came my turn to plead was to stand up, look the judge in the eye, and say “No Contest.” I was fined fifty dollars, given a ninety-day suspended sentence, and booed as I left the courtroom. I paid my fine in cash (I’d had enough experience with courts to know they don’t take checks) and walked out into the sunlight a free man, with plenty of time to get ready to teach my Thursday night class.

            Court was held in a rented space in the Terminal Building, a downtown high-rise where the draft board had its offices. I hadn’t gotten far down the sidewalk when I heard somebody with long legs catching up. Soon a strong hand took my elbow: Mattie Halliday. “I did it, too,” she said. “I pled ‘No Contest’ too.” When I glanced at her, she smiled back, her blue eyes full of sparkle. “After he only fined you fifty dollars, I thought, ‘Shoot, who needs to make another speech? Let the rest of ‘em make speeches.’ I bet there are others who’ll do the same.”

            “You’re looking good,” I said. “I haven’t seen you in a while; how come?”

            “Oh, well,” she said. “I’ve been making plans. Say, there’s something I wanted to ask you. How do you make napalm?”

            “Gasoline mixed with polystyrene to make it sticky. Also, you need a thickener, gear grease or something like STP. I don’t know what they use for that. Originally the Brits used palm oil. Naphtha plus palm oil equals napalm.”

            “What’s polystyrene?”

            “You know how, when you pour gas into a styrofoam cup, the cup just sort of dissolves? That’s polystyrene. What’re you planning to do, bomb Weld’s bookstore?”

            “Jonas!” She looked at me accusingly and laughed. “I only think like that when I’m depressed.” Her rich mahogany hair, I noted, was bristling with fire. “Can I buy you a cup of hot chocolate?” she asked.

            “You betcha.”

            Mattie took us to Barrymore’s, where the wealthily-dressed female bartender opened two foil packages, poured the premixed powder into mugs, added hot water, and charged a buck and a half apiece. At least the mugs weren’t plastic. Mattie was undeterred from her sunny mood. “I’ve wanted to come here since it opened,” she said, looking up past the lights into the theater loft. “They’ve done a nice job with it, don’t you think?”

            “They have,” I said. “The music’s good, too. They play a lot of jazz, soul, blues. A little bit of James Brown, some Aretha.”

            “Oh, you’ve been here, then,” she said. “I didn’t think it’d be your kind of place.”

            “I’m versatile when it comes to bars and food.”

            “And women,” she said, her eyes twinkling.

            “Ah, well,” I said, blushing. “I’m not one of your big-time Romeos. I leave that to the poets and the—” I stopped.

            “Philosphers?” Mattie finished.

            “Bite my tongue,” I said. “So, what’s with you and Kemp these days, since we’re on the subject?”

            Mattie smiled. “I’ve had some news,” she said. “Want to hear it?”

            “I asked, didn’t I?”

            “I work with a group called Amnesty U. S.; it’s named for Amnesty International, though they’re not connected. Anyway, one case they’re involved in is Rad Langdon’s, who is lawful husband to the bitch who has no name. Anyhow— I hear by the grapevine there’s been progress. He might be released.”

            “Wow!” I said. “That’ll make L. D. happy. Does she know?”

            “I’ve no idea what she knows,” Mattie said. “You’re missing the point.”

            “Kemp?”

            “Bingo.”

            “What makes you think he’ll come back to you?” I asked.

            “Ted can’t live five minutes without a woman,” Mattie said bitterly. “He’s barely able to wipe his own butt, if you want to know the truth.”

            “I still don’t see the attraction,” I said. “A high pale forehead and a big jaw, but brains? I don’t think so.”

            “There’s more to a man than his brains,” Mattie said, “which is a damned good thing for the likes of you.”

            I raised my cup to Mattie. “Hey there,” I sang teasingly, “you on that high flying cloud. . . .”

            She lowered her eyes. “OK, OK,” she said. “Enough. It gives me something to think about besides my job.”

            “Uh oh,” I said. “That, too?”

            “They asked me to resign,” she said. “They want me to ‘look for something else,’ is how they put it. So I’m looking. I’ve got family connections back east, but I don’t like to use them. I could probably get something in Kansas City or Minneapolis. There’s not much demand for female ministers in Nebraska.”

            “Good luck,” I said. “I’ll miss you if you have to move. So will Ted, whether the dumb ox knows it or not.”

            “I’m taking him with me,” she said. “In a body bag, if necessary.”

            I saw that, in ten minutes of quiet conversation, I’d just about managed to destroy Mattie’s ebullience. “Hey,” I said. “I still have a mental picture of you whopping my cousin Dale over the head. That was some demonstration, wasn’t it? I wonder if Spiro Agnew knows it happened.”

            “He knows,” she said. “Someone should whop him, too. It’d do the country good.”

 




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