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January 2008

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ArchiveTable of Contents

1 Premier Issue

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3 Erotica

4 Death

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6 Looking Back, Ahead

7 Love & Black History

8 Women's Hist & Stories

9 Art of Expression

10 Neither Here Nor There

11 Social Injustice

12 Social Injustice II

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17 From the Streets

18 Abuse

19 Abuse Part II

20 Audiophile

21 Heart

22 From the Past

23 Community

16. The house on F Street. . .

 

             The house on F Street was a high white-painted frame thing, gabled and corbelled, soffits rotting where the gutters leaked. I stood on the columned porch and rang the bell again, holding my pie-skillet by the handle in one hand, an unopened bottle of Pinot Noir in the other, clutching a twelve-pack-minus-two under my right arm. When Selva finally came to the door, she said “Oh, it’s you” in exactly the tone I had anticipated; she held the screen for me, allowing me to squeeze past, attuned to the light brush of her breasts against my flight jacket. Once inside, I found I was at the foot of a grand staircase that had been walled off from the parlor it had once ornamented.

             “Upstairs,” Selva said behind me. “We’ve got the second floor.” I climbed the ornate stairway, marveling at the strange mixture of fine old woodwork and shabby remodel. Some fusty dead Republican judge’s showpiece, the house had been built with twelve-foot ceilings, so that although it looked tall enough for three stories, there were two; the attic was uninhabited. The stairway led to a full-length landing that served as a hallway, lit at the front by an oval window of leaded glass. A door to my left stood open, and a warm buzz of voices came from within.

             “Nice place you’ve got here,” I said appreciatively, glancing back at the walnut banister and lathe-turned newel posts. Apartments such as this one promised to be weren’t cheap.

             “We like it.”

             I entered a large, carpeted living room with windows on the street. Beyond was another room, nearly as large, and beyond that was a narrow alley of a kitchen. I made my way through the crowd to a sideboard in the second room, where dishes of food were arranged; I placed my offering, my double-wide skillet-baked pie, among them. As I set the heavy thing down, a tall, angry-looking woman with a thick mane of chestnut-colored hair strode from the kitchen and relieved me of the wine. “I don’t suppose you brought a corkscrew,” she said accusingly. When I shrugged in reply, she said, “Great. We need a corkscrew. Nobody can find a corkscrew.”

             Adrian had replaced Selva as my escort. He showed me where I could put my coat, in a bedroom that had been fixed up as a den, and pointed out the bathroom, which someone was using. The size of the rooms was luxurious for a student apartment; I felt sure it was Adrian who had the money. “Welcome,” he said once my flight jacket was disposed of. “We didn’t know if you’d come. You said you were going to Palisade to see your father.”

             “Palemon,” I said. “My old man is pretty busy these days. I probably wouldn’t even get to talk to him until Sunday.”

             “It’s good that you’re here,” Adrian reiterated. “What does your father do?”

             “He’s a trucker,” I said, glancing around at the drafting table and the roll-top desk, the glass-fronted bookcase. “What about yours?”

             “My father’s family is in the grocery business,” he said.

             “In Boston?”

             “Boston,” he said blandly, “Providence. New Haven. New York, too, at one time, but my uncles had some problems with the Port Authority.” He led the way back to the kitchen, where he helped the woman who’d taken my wine to find a corkscrew. He then rejoined his guests, leaving me alone with her in the narrow kitchen. I watched as she tried with trembling hands to use the screw, then stepped closer to help her.

             “Piss off,” she said with tears in her eyes. They were the color of a Siamese cat’s eyes, shocking blue. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

             “Pleased to meet you,” I said. “My name’s Jonas Smith.”

             The tall woman put down the corkscrew and offered her hand. Her grip was strong as a dairyman’s. “Sorry,” she said. “Mattie Halliday. It’s not a good time to talk to me right now.”

             “That’s fine,” I said. “Do you want me to open those bottles?”

             “No, thanks,” she said. “I need something to do in here.”

             The aroma in the kitchen was rich and sagey, but wrong for Thanksgiving. “What are we having?” I asked Mattie. “Smells like sausage, not turkey.”

             “Meatballs,” she replied. “Adrian’s making them. Get out of here, will you? You’re trying to cheer me up, and I don’t want to be reasonable. Here’s a glass.” She slid my unopened wine to the back of the counter and handed me a tumbler. “There’s box wine in the other room.”

             I took the water glass she handed me and moved to the kitchen doorway to look over the crowd. Here and there were plain earnest faces that I’d passed in Andrews Hall, but many of the guests had a sexier look. The women wore flash and trash like a convention of shoplifters, while the men, who stood apart, four to a group, were elaborately baggy and ragged in surplus fatigues. To my horror, I saw my students, Krupp and Kerrigan, in one of these groups. Krupp, the more alert of the two, looked up and saw me at the same time; he grinned and waved me over. I could see no alternative. Other than Selva and Adrian, those two dickheads were the only people in the room I knew.

             “Hello, Professor,” he said when I came near. “Want some hashish?”

             “No!” I said forcefully. I had nothing against hashish, but I was shocked by his insolence. For one thing, the bastard knew I was no professor. “What are you two doing here? Didn’t I give you enough homework?”

             “Don’t worry,” Krupp said, winking slyly. “We’ll both sit down an hour before class and whip out something. Isn’t that right, Kerry?”

             “Hunh?” Kerrigan said. “Say again?” His ponytail swung behind him as he turned our way, his pupils like wide-angle lenses at full aperture.

             “I told the Professor,” Krupp repeated as if he were speaking to a deaf man, “that we’d have our papers in on time.”

             “What kind of papers?” Kerrigan focused in, studying my face. “Oh, hi, Doc,” he said genially, once he was sure he recognized me.

             “I’m not a fucking doctor,” I snarled, “Ph. D. or any other kind. You both must know you’re flunking, but if that doesn’t bother you it certainly doesn’t bother me.”

             “Easy, Professor,” Krupp said. “We’re not holding it against you. Do you know these people?” He introduced me to his other companions, who wanted to shake hands log-rolling-contest style. They wore peace medallions over their fatigue shirts.

             “Pleased to meet you,” I lied. “Are all of you friends of Selva Andersen’s?” They laughed and shook their heads in a way that showed they might’ve had aspirations; either they were heterosexual or else they were good at faking it.

             “Mostly we just know Adrian from the marches,” Krupp explained. “You know? Protests? Have you been at any of them?”

             “No,” I said. “Adrian’s an organizer, then?”

             “He’s big-time,” Krupp said quietly. “Connections back East. SDS. Heavy stuff.” Kerrigan nodded wisely. “Their phone is tapped,” Krupp added significantly. “There’s probably an FBI informant here today.”

             “Adrian looks more MBA than he does SDS,” I said.

             Everyone laughed knowingly. “You should hear him speak,” Krupp said admiringly. “Talk about radical!”

             “He can get you moving,” Kerrigan put in.

             “If he can get you moving,” I told him pointedly, “he knows some tricks I don’t.”

             Kerrigan gave me the full benefit of his calf’s gaze. “Man, everything you say is rhetoric,” he said, pronouncing the word as if it denoted some particularly disgusting organic substance. “Adrian tells it like it is.”

             “But it’s all rhetoric,” I said, turning away hopelessly. On the other side of the room, Selva and Adrian were standing together. I went over to them. “Nice wine,” I said. “Who are these people?”

             They looked at me evenly, as if I’d asked them how much their parents made or whether they enjoyed anal sex. Finally Adrian responded. “The blue-eyed woman in the kitchen—you met her—is Mattie Halliday, the Unitarian minister. She also works with the Mary Moody Emerson Center. Over there—” he inclined his smooth forehead toward a bluff-jawed, sandy-haired man arguing in one corner— “that’s Ted Kemp, the new chair of the Philosophy Department. The one listening is Jerome Weld, who has the X-Cell Bookstore. The dark-haired woman by the window, the one with the martini glass, is from the Lincoln Star, and she’s talking with Steve Barney, the state legislator from the campus district. The people from the English Department you know; the rest are Selva’s friends, actors and theater techs. See anyone you’d like to meet?”

             “I guess not,” I said. “Doesn’t Kemp go with L. D. Langdon? I don’t see her.”

             They looked at one another. “She made other plans,” Selva said. “I saw you talking to Paul and Roger.”

             “You mean Krupp and Kerrigan? What are those two assholes doing here?”

             “Maybe they’re just as happy to see you,” she replied coldly.

             I turned to address Adrian. “No football game?” The mighty Nebraska Cornhuskers played the Oklahoma Sooners every Thanksgiving, causing a great stir and a lot of money to change hands. The game was televised nationally.

             “Too barbaric,” Selva said. “Like butchering a large bird in front of guests.” Adrian smiled at her approvingly; the two of them were making me sick. I noticed that my tumbler was empty.

             “Can I get you a wine glass?” Adrian asked. “There’s plenty in the cabinet.”

             “This glass is fine,” I said. “I brought beer, maybe I’ll switch to that.”

             I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, expecting that the meal would be served at two o’clock. But the afternoon dragged on, while I wove from group to group, from alien conversation to alien conversation. I should’ve taken Adrian’s advice and switched glasses, but did not do so. The effect was predictable. By the time we all sat down to eat, I had made two more attempts to converse with Selva Andersen, which were rebuffed; I had angered the Lincoln Star journalist, who called me a sexist asshole, and I had flirted with one of the slinky theater types, only to discover that I was talking to a man. On the plus side, I’d struck up an acquaintance with the Halliday woman, who seemed to regard me as some sort of ally. I was drunk and getting drunker, and the evening was frighteningly young.

             Italian meatballs, it turned out, were Adrian’s specialty. Made according to an old family recipe, they were the size of weighty tennis balls, dense and sweetly delicious, served with pasta in a sinus-clearing sauce. He’d also roasted peppers of a kind I hadn’t seen before, red and shaped like chiles but very mild. The remaining condiments were mostly traditional Thanksgiving stuff with a little extra twist. It was a meal to make you sorry for the humble pilgrims. Once we’d done as much damage to the food as possible, a round of toasting began; we toasted Columbus and Marco Polo, Pocahontas and Squanto. Ted Kemp stood up and tapped his glass with a knife. “A toast to Adrian Fisher,” he announced. “Though our hearts grow weary and our minds grow dim, when meatballs are mentioned we’ll think of him.” “Hear, hear!” went around the table, and Selva Andersen lifted her glass and shouted, “Adrian’s balls!”

             Everyone laughed uproariously except for me and for Mattie Halliday, who stared at Ted Kemp with a pale, fixed expression. The next person who stood up was the journalist. She looked me in the eye, raised her glass, and said, “Here’s to the happy pig. He lives a life of sloth and ease in mud and shit up to his knees; he drinks and eats and ne’er complains, till the women make sausage of his brains.” Female voices cried, “Hear, hear!” while the hot blood rushed upward in my neck and I pushed back my chair and rose swaying to my feet.

             I lifted my tumbler and looked out over the crowd. “Here’s to the Vietnam War,” I said. “It’s stupid, it’s hopeless, it’s brutal, it’s ugly, it’s mean, it’s evil, it’s a putrid rotten festering little plantar’s wart of a war, but it’s the only one we’ve got.” Not a glass was raised. I took a long draught of wine and added, “Does anyone at this table want to fight?”

             Fortunately, I passed out before anyone could answer me.

 

 

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