Chip (or ‘aj’ as his profile stated) and I met via eharmony.com in 2004. It was a nice, safe and private place to do that sort of thing. You can only see the limited information of those you are matched up with on their 29 dimensions of compatibility. That privacy is what prompted the school teacher to try it out. Who wants their junior high students looking them up on yahoo personals? I tried it our because of the pure gold which was their advertising campaign. Sure, I wanted to meet someone who could understand me. Who wouldn’t? I was a divorced mother of two young sons and a full-time nurse at an elderly care facility. My free time was spent watching Spongebob with my kids. Where was I going to meet a man? (Definitely not at the nursing home; though, one of my patient’s creepy unmarried 50 year old sons did ask me out.)
So I logged on one day & started to fill out page after page of questions all about me. What importance to me are religious, political, spiritual values? What are 10 values that I ‘must have’ in a partner, what are the 10 that I ‘can’t stand’. I couldn’t finish it in one day so I saved & came back the next day to continue. I realized as I was answering a question about how messy I am that I needed to answer as honestly as I could. I wanted to say that I am not a messy person. Ha! No one but a complete stranger on the internet would believe that. This small, strange question prompted me to review all my answers and make sure that I was answering truthfully. It wasn’t that I wanted to lie. It was more that I wanted to be better or different that I was. We all have standards for ourselves that we fall short of. I decided this was not the place to be perfect, but to just be me.
After I was done I was sent several people’s profiles. It was interesting to look through them. I could answer their request for communication or start my own request. I proceeded to answer their questions and ask my own. It was amazing how much of a feel of the person you can get from this. Most left me uninspired. I met a few in person. So far, no one had really caught my eye. After my initial 90 days were over I would have to pay again or just let it go. Several days passed and the rate to renew kept dropping. I finally said ok and paid my new reduced fee. As luck would have it, aj was the first new match I was given after I renewed. There was just something about him that I liked. I think it was the magic he conveyed in his words. His answers intrigued me, his questions were original and inspiring. We rushed through the eharmony set of questions in one day and then opened communication via personal email. We emailed each other long letters daily for three weeks. (He was working out of town for his new job as an assessment specialist those last two weeks). When he finally asked me to meet him I was ready. We met for our first date on a Saturday morning and saw each other later that same day for our second date. Our third date was Sunday. It was easy to be with him. We were together everyday since. Within four months we were engaged and ten months we were married. When it’s right, you just know it. Even though it was a bit less traditional than the way some folks meet, I couldn’t be happier. A lot of people don’t believe that love can start this way and that is what makes our love an urban legend.
