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January 2008

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MANAGING 
ANGER

Methods for a Happier and Healthier Life

Rebecca R. Luhn, Ph.D.

 

The following aspects are discussed in the book Managing Anger: Methods for a Happier and Healthier Life by Rebecca R. Luhn, Ph.D. © 1992. The techniques included can be used to work through feelings of anger and hurt. In this way, anger and hurt can better be assessed and then addressed so that they do not develop into rage that may explode unexpectedly and seemingly without reason.

***Begin To Consider How Long 

You Plan To Be Angry In Your Life***


 

KEEP IN MIND:

**Events are not negative or positive. It is the values we place on those events that make them so.

Anger often results from

  1. feeling someone is treating you unfairly;
  2. feeling that someone is trying to take advantage of you; or
  3. feeling a threat of some sort or loss to self.

**It is our own thoughts that cause anger. We feel angry when we have imposed our expectations and ideals of how someone should be, but they are not what we think they should be. 


ANGRY PEOPLE DRIVE OTHERS AWAY!


In order to take control of the anger one feels, the following exercises can help:

1. Write about a situation that made you angry

2. Write about how it made you feel

3. Write about why it made you feel that way

4. Write about other ways you could have felt if you had viewed things differently or from the other person’s perspective


 

Identify Your Body’s Anger Signs

Describe how you feel inside when you get angry (i.e., the physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, upset stomach, heart palpitations, sinking feeling, etc.):

Identify Your Actions of Anger

Identify how you act when you feel angry (i.e, I say mean things to people, I am aggressive toward others, I withdraw into myself, etc.):

Identify Actions That Could Be Taken

Identify actions you can take instead of the anger actions (I could take a walk, I could say “I feel hurt,” etc.):


 

**Accept your anger feelings and manage them instead of repressing them, which causes constant bickering.

Identify The Reasons You Have For Not Sharing Your Feelings

Identify The Provocations That Cause You To Feel Anger

Identify Actions You Can Take Toward Preventative Situations

   Identify Some of Your Basic Values  


 

Some Unrealistic Expectations Are Formed By Anger Thoughts:

Others don’t care

People should know better than to act as they do

Life is unfair

I must never hurt someone or say what I feel

I must be in control or others will take advantage of me

 

Effects:

Sadness = Depression = Negative anger

Depression can be caused by distorted beliefs abut one’s self and the world

Low self-esteem = Unhealthy anger

Feeling inferior causes one to accept rejection


Take the first steps to identifying anger 

and managing it! 

It begins with you. 


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