InvasiveThoughts.com

January 2008

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photo by Rob Hunter

A.E. Garza, R.I. Magana

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ArchiveTable of Contents

1 Premier Issue

2 Travel

3 Erotica

4 Death

5 Music

6 Looking Back, Ahead

7 Love & Black History

8 Women's Hist & Stories

9 Art of Expression

10 Neither Here Nor There

11 Social Injustice

12 Social Injustice II

13 Anniversary Issue

14 Green Winter

15 Elections Perspectives

16 Books

17 From the Streets

18 Abuse

19 Abuse Part II

20 Audiophile

21 Heart

22 From the Past

23 Community


STORIES OF ABUSE



In preparation for this issue, we asked readers to answer two questions, anonymously. 

1: How were you or someone you know abused?
2: How have you been affected by this abuse?

Below are the responses we received. To send in your own anonymous response to these questions, click ABUSE. The stories below are printed as we received them (we made no corrections to typos).


__________________________



I have been in verbally, emotionally abused relationships. I still question my decisions, have low self-asteem and say, "i'm sorry" too much.


I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused as a child into my early teen years. Overall without going into a lot of detail the abuse has effected me in many ways. I feel I have a lot of rage and anger which comes out in negative ways usually and I have a lot of mistrust when it comes to people in general as well. I curently suffer with PTSD and have dealt with severe depression and anxiety for a majority of my life. The effect of the depression, PTSD and anxiety/panic attacks have lead to longterm therapy, many different psychiatric medication trials and a hospitalization. The abuse I endured has taken a toll on my emotional stability, my financial stability and past relationships.


I was abused as a child emotionally and physically. Which made me easy prey for my charismatic abusive husband. Over the years he learned me well and use any and all of my mental weaknesses to gain full power over me. He was manipulative to the far beyond my knowledge and still has a certain power over me today. He used violence when unable to control me with mental abuse. The violence was always intensely frightening to the point I thought for sure he would kill me this time. He always smoothed things over or used his most powerful tool against me which was to ignore me deny me love affection or even words. I am often afraid of what he would do if I divorce or even disobey him. I also fear what he will do to our daughter he uses the same tactics on her. I did everything I could to please him everything to be a good wife and mother. It was never good enough it was never enough. I became unable to take care of myself mentally and physically. I lived a lonely isolated life. I lost myself and am still struggling to learn to live while raising our 13 year old daughter without help other than support groups. I wish I could go back 10 years so I could have got out before I got so lost.



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